2000 Jiffy Lube 300 Fantasy Edition 2

2000 Season Fantasy Edition (Jiffy Lube 300 @ New Hampshire International Speedway, July 16th, 2000) Edit

Notes Edit

  • Curse-words will be censored out by *bleep*s.

Car Numbers, Sponsors, Manufacturers, and Drivers Edit

  1. 1 Pennzoil Chevrolet (Jimmy Neutron)
  2. 2 Miller Lite Ford (Rudy Tabootie)
  3. 3 GM Goodwrench Chevrolet (Eddy "The Intimidator" McRich)
  4. 4 Kodak Chevrolet (Remy Buxaplenty)
  5. 5 Kelloggs Corn Flakes Chevrolet (Imaginary Gary)
  6. 6 Valvoline Ford (Professor Finbarr Calamitous)
  7. 7 PHILLIPS Nation's Rent Chevrolet (Wanda)
  8. 8 Budweiser Chevrolet (Homer Simpson)
  9. 9 Kodiak Ford (Mojo Jojo)
  10. 10 Aaron's Pontiac (Jimmy from "Ed, Edd n Eddy")
  11. 12 Mobil 1 Ford (Snap White)
  12. 14 Conseco Pontiac (Nelson Muntz)
  13. 16 TV Guide Ford (Buttercup Simpson)
  14. 17 DEWALT Power Tools Ford (Evil Jimmy Clone)
  15. 18 Interstate Batteries Pontiac (Ed"Lumpy" Monobrow)
  16. 19 MOTOROLA Ford (Eduardo)
  17. 20 Home Depot Pontiac (Eddward "Double-D" Marion)
  18. 21 CITGO Ford (Princess Morbucks)
  19. 22 CATERPILLAR Pontiac (Sandy Cheeks)
  20. 24 DUPONT Chevrolet (Timmy Turner)
  21. 25 Michael Holigan Chevrolet (Trixie Tang)
  22. 26 KMART Ford (Bubble Bass from "Spongebob Squarepants")
  23. 28 TEXACO Havoline Ford (Sheldon J. Plankton)
  24. 31 LOWE'S Chevrolet (Blooreguard Q. "Bloo" Kazoo)
  25. 32 Tide Ford (Blossom Neutron)
  26. 33 Oakwood Homes Chevrolet (Mac Kazoo)
  27. 36 M&Ms Pontiac (Spongebob Squarepants)
  28. 40 Coors Light Chevrolet (Bart Simpson)
  29. 42 Bellsouth Chevrolet (Cindy Vortex)
  30. 43 STP Pontiac (Bubbles Turner)
  31. 44 Hot Wheels Pontiac (Kevin Shovelchin)
  32. 45 Spree/Sprint Chevrolet (Sheen Estevez)
  33. 55 Square-D Chevrolet (Stanley S. Squarepants)
  34. 60 Power Team Chevrolet (Francis Bull-E)
  35. 66 Route 66 KMART Ford (Fuzzy Lumpkins)
  36. 71 Real Tree Chevrolet (Cosmo)
  37. 75 Redcell Ford (Patrick Star)
  38. 77 JASPER Ford (Rolf)
  39. 88 Quality Care Ford (Lisa Simpson)
  40. 93 Amoco Pontiac (Evil Officer Mike Brikowski)
  41. 94 McDonald's Ford (Squidward Tentacles)
  42. 97 John Deere Ford (Penny Sanchez)
  43. 99 EXIDE Batteries Ford (Denzel Crocker)

Race Winner Edit

  • 18 Interstate Batteries Pontiac (Ed Monobrow)

Number Of Laps Edit

  • 300

Number Of Cautions Edit

  • 13

Quotes Edit

Quote 1 Edit

  • (wiki-special opens inside New Hampshire International Speedway outside Jimmy Neutron and Blossom's hauler while Jimmy Neutron, Blossom, Edd, Jackie, Timmy, Bubbles, Carl Wheezer [NASCAR Busch Series driver], Sheen Estevez, Rolf, Kevin, and Lisa eating/drinking New England clam chowder for breakfast)
  • Sheen: Ahhhh... I LOVE the smell of New England clam chowder in the morning! Hey, that reminds me, Jimmy. Did you make it so they'll make a NEW New England inspired by US?!!!!
  • Jimmy Neutron: No, Sheen, the reason why me and my spouse, Blossom made this New England clam chowder for breakfast is because first of all, this is a special occasion due to the fact we are in Loudon, New Hampshire, and second, one of the major industries in this New England state is fishing.
  • Carl: You gotta be careful with fish because fish make me bloaty.
  • Sheen: *groans* You said that for the few ga-zillion times, Carl! We KNOW that you're allergic to fish!
  • Carl: Sorry, Sheen.
  • Jimmy Neutron: (after slurping his New England clam chowder) So Carl, umm how does it feel to win the NASCAR Busch Series race here yesterday?
  • Carl: Ah, it feels great. I pretended I was winning for the Llamas. *snorty laugh*
  • Sheen: Yeah, and you should've seen the look on Vicky's face yesterday when you made that last lap bump n' run on her in Turn #3! She was P.O'ed! *laughs* If only Ultra-Lord raced in NASCAR.
  • Blossom: Sheen, Ultra-lord is pure fiction.
  • Sheen: What does that mean?
  • Blossom: *short pause* Forget it. *takes a slurp of her New England clam chowder*
  • Carl: Even though I won yesterday's race here, I didn't want the trophy (referring to the New Hampshire Int'l Speedway winning lobster) because it made me bloaty. So they gave me the winner's prize check instead.
  • Rolf: Why must you mention lobsters, Ginger-Eyes?! You know Rolf has had terrible past experiences with lobsters! (referring to the "Ed, Edd n Eddy" episode "Scrambled Ed")
  • Kevin: Chill, man. We know how much you hate lobsters after that time Dorky's scam flooded the cul-de-sac (in reference to the "Ed, Edd n Eddy" episode "Scrambled Ed"). If you somehow win the race today, you can just do what the Carl-dude did, ask for the winner's check, or at least ask one of your crew members to hold it for you, due to the fact you ain't allergic to them like Carl.
  • Timmy: Yeah, you should lighten up, Stretch. And by the way, I promised Bubbles during the race-weekend that we can have a seafood dinner after the race today, since we are in Loudon, New Hampshire! Hopefully one of us can add the New Hampshire International Speedway trophy (referring to the New Hampshire Int'l Speedway winning lobster) to our menu tonight, that's IF one of us wins today's Jiffy Lube 300.
  • Bubbles: That's right, Timmy. *giggles* And by the way Edd, how's the car today?
  • Edd: The car seems fine, Bubbles. Me and my crew-members made a few adjustments to the #20 Home Depot Pontiac yesterday during Happy Hour (final practice), and despite just missing the pole position in qualifying back on Friday, clinching my 5th place starting position, my #20 Home Depot Pontiac's car handling will improve and might possibly be one of the cars to beat in today's Jiffy Lube 300.
  • Lisa: Trust me, there's nothing more challenging in a race weekend other than Happy Hour. Why? Because the challenging part of Happy Hour is that not only it's the last practice the day before every race, but it gives us drivers and our crew-members to tweak in the final adjustments to make the car handling perfect and get it ready for the race the day after.But the sad situation of the Happy Hour sessions before every race is that we have to be timed 1 whole hour to run on the track and make those adjustments before they wave the red flag to end the Happy Hour session.
  • Kevin: Trust me, Happy Hour ain't all that fun taking a few laps and coming to the garage every few laps to make adjustments and trying hard not to crash, otherwise you'd be sent to the back of the field to start the race if you did.
  • Bubbles: Yeah, it'd make us "Sappy Sour"! (in reference to the term "Happy Hour") *giggles*
  • Timmy: Luckily none of us crashed in Happy Hour yesterday. So the Team Fastex cars will not be sent to the rear of the field today!
  • Blossom: I'll take your word for that, Timmy! *takes another slurp of her New England clam chowder*
  • Jackie: Now that you mentioned going to the rear of the field, Officer Brikowski and Nelson Muntz will go to the rear of the field today to due Officer Brikowski crashing in Happy Hour yesterday, and Nelson Muntz undergoing an engine change. They will both start 42nd (Nelson Muntz) and 43rd (Officer Brikowski).
  • Timmy: Hah! Serves those REXCOR sh--*bleep*--heads right!
  • Rolf: *gasps* Filthy foul-mouths like you don't foul up the air and assault Rolf's ears!
  • Kevin: Rolf, you need to CHILL OUT. Everything will get better later, don't you sweat it. Was your #77 JASPER Ford good in Happy Hour yesterday?
  • Rolf: The #77 Gas-Pair Ford looked very well in Happy Hour yesterday and hopefully Rolf will clinch his playoff chances once he wins today's what do you say, Jiffy Lube 300?
  • Kevin: Rolf, first of all it's JASPER Ford, and second, you really don't stop talking about making the playoffs do ya?
  • Rolf: Why? The playoffs are good for Rolf. Yes?
  • Kevin: *groans* *scene cuts to "NASCAR Raceday: Served By The Krusty Krab"*

Quote 2 Edit

Quote 3 Edit

  • (In the NASCAR Winston Cup Series Garage in Timmy Turner's section)
  • Timmy: You know, Bubbles, like the rest of us, Cindy was a COMPLETE wreck the entire week after the terrible tragedy happened here during tire-tests at this track.
  • Bubbles (sadly): I know, Timmy. I really wanted to hug and cuddle with Cindy for DAYS. He was her mentor and a great NASCAR driver! *sobs sweetly while in unison, the scene transitions to Bubbles' reminisce dream, taking place in Timmy's hauler (with Timmy and Bubbles romancing) during tire-tests at New Hampshire Int'l Speedway*
  • Cindy Vortex: *comes in, in tears and as she sits down, she wipes the tears off her face and develops more tears in her eyes*
  • Bubbles: Cindy, what's wrong?
  • Timmy: C'mon Cin, I have seen happier faces in frowning contests!
  • Cindy (sadly): *gulps sadly* You know Kenny, right? *sadly sniffs*
  • Timmy: Of course I know him, Cindy! He's your mentor!
  • Cindy (sadly): H-H-He took it hard in the wall in Turns 3 & 4 w-w-when he took my car for a spin to test the track.
  • Bubbles: What do you mean, Cindy?
  • Cindy (sadly): Kenny's dead. *puts head on shoulder in deep sorrow*
  • Bubbles (while hugging Timmy / softly sobbing): No... *sad gasps* Not Kenny Irwin! *sobs sweetly while hugging Timmy, as Timmy tears up and sobs*

Quote 4 Edit

  • ("NASCAR On TNN Sports Theme" plays)
  • Eli Gold (TNN): The NASCAR Winston Cup Series goes short-track racing today, but NOT on a short-track. Us at TNN Sports brings you live coverage of the Jiffy Lube 300 from Loudon, New Hampshire! The New Hampshire International Speedway is nicknamed "The Magic Mile", and many drivers call this racetrack "Martinsville Speedway on steroids". This famous New England racetrack is famous for 2 to 3-wide racing on the straights and single & double file racing in the flat tricky turns. And the New Hampshire International Speedway is famous for its famous lobster given to the race winner. Who will receive the "catch of the day" today? Hi, folks, I'm Eli Gold, alongside former NASCAR Champion & race analyst, Buddy Baker, and NASCAR analyst, Dick Berggren. Guys, this racetrack is definitely one of THE most toughest tracks on the schedule.
  • Buddy Baker (TNN): Indeed, Eli, this track can really affect the car-handlin' of these racecars. Remember, the part that you DON'T want to be on this racetrack is what drivers and crews call "no man's land", which is the TOP of the racetrack. You slip there, you're in the "marbles" and that can cause great damage to the car handling and possibly some tire-rubs on the car-fenders.
  • Dick Berggren (TNN Sports): You're right, Buddy. Because this track can really be full of surprises. No driver wants to be in "no-man's land" today, ESPECIALLY on the final lap. Make ONE mistake on the last corners and slip into the marbles, and you'll be GUARANTEED a loss of victory when the 2nd place drivers gets by you and takes the checkered flag.
  • Eli Gold (TNN): With 8 races to go before the "Chase For The Cup" playoff series, intensity is gonna be the main issue today and for the rest of the regular season. Such as Cindy Vortex, Bart Simpson, Snap White, Remy Buxaplenty, Sheldon J. Plankton, and much more.
  • Buddy Baker (TNN): You're right, Eli. The drivers whom didn't win a race MUST win a race in order to fill in the playoff grid in time for Springfield this September (foreshadowing the "2000 Krusty Burger 400 Fantasy Edition" wiki), but the sad part is that the "win and you're in" column is shrinking due to the multiple winners we had so far in this season.
  • Dck Berggren (TNN): Right, Buddy. Because now this is when it starts getting down to "crunch time" in the regular season. Now for these last 8 races of the regular season, the drivers who are not in the playoff grid must either win the race to get in, or hope for repeat winners of the playoff-makers so they can hopefully make it in on Championship points, but with these new faces coming in Victory Lane for most of the regular season, that point column to make it in might shrink a bunch.
  • Eli Gold (TNN): Will there be another face in Victory Lane and in the championship playoff grid? We will find out in 300 laps here in Jiffy Lube 300. The 43 drivers are all lined up on the pit-lane, awaiting to get the command to fire the engines here in Loudon, New Hampshire! We now go trackside!
  • Track P.A Announcer: And now for the most famous word in all of motorsports, please welcome your grand marshal, the star of his own classic show and today's honorary starter, Popeye The Sailor! *crowd cheers EXTREMELY loudly*
  • Popeye The Sailor: Well blow me down! You are the greatest fans in the world! *crowd cheers EXTREMELY loudly* So let's get this race started! GENTLEMEN, START YOUR ENGINES!!!! *laughs heartily, in unison to the HYSTERICALLY cheering crowd*
  • [engines start and rev loudly, in unison to the HYSTERICALLY cheering crowd]

Quote 5 Edit

  • Eli Gold (TNN / in unison to the hysterically cheering crowd): We're glad you're sharing the day with us on TNN Sports on this MAGNIFICENT day here in Loudon, New Hampshire.... *crowd cheers LOUDER as the pace-car pulls onto pit-road*... and now the pace-car heads down toward the pit-lane! Here we go! 300 laps, 300 miles make up the total distance in the Jiffy Lube 300... *cars accelerate to take the green flag waved by Popeye The Sailor, in unison to the HYSTERICALLY cheering crowd*... and now Popeye The Sailor waves the green flag! We are underway in The Magic Mile!
  • Barney Hall (MRN Radio): They're down to the line, green flag goes in the air and Rudy Tabootie lets the clutch out on that machine and hauls to Turn #1 and immediately, he gets out front single-file and so do the other 2 cars directly behind him as they hit Turn #2.
  • Dave Moody (MRN Radio): Lisa Simpson drops it single-file into 2nd! Buttercup Simpson makes a good run on the outside! She'll take 3rd, and they're double-wide for 4th as they hit the backstraightaway!
  • Mike Massaro (MRN Radio): The battle is on for 3rd! Buttercup Simpson's trying to hang on to it, but she'll feel double-team pressure from the back side! Bloo Kazoo sweeps to the outside as Spongebob Squarepants looks to the inside in Turn 3!
  • Joe Moore (MRN Radio): They're racing for the 4th position side-by-side, while the front 3 cars come down to complete Lap #1 with Rudy Tabootie showing the way by 5 car-lengths! Now further back, Eddward Marion dives underneath Squarepants, making it 3-wide at the start/finish line!
  • Dave Moody (MRN Radio): Squarepants will lose 2 spots as Bloo Kazoo overhauls him! Now Double-D "washes" up the racetrack! Squarepants' back to the inside! Ed Monobrow, bumping down to the inside, takes it to the apron and hangs on!
  • Mike Massaro (MRN Radio): And the battle is still on for 5th! Bloo Kazoo's down to the inside of Eddward Marion heading to Turn #3, but Marion slams the door and hugs the apron as he hits the corner! He'll place a challenge now for 4th as he looks up underneath Bloo Kazoo off Turn #4! *scene cuts to the TNN Broadcast Booth*
  • Eli Gold (TNN): Rudy Tabootie continues to show the way here in the Jiffy Lube 300 with Lap #2 complete *scene cuts back to the track*, and suddenly, Trixie Tang loses a couple of positions after slipping and sliding off the corners during the previous lap, but now she's trying to get back in the groove!
  • Buddy Baker (TNN): She was lucky enough to save the car in those corners!
  • Dick Berggren (TNN): Let's hope she don't wind up in the "marbles"! *scene cuts to Trixie's cockpit*
  • (in Turns 1& 2)
  • Trixie (losing 8th and 9th place in the turns): Man, this track is difficult! I'm already losing spots in the race!
  • Cindy (in 8th / voice only): Relax, Trixie! It takes a few laps to adjust to this racetrack! Just be patient! *scene cuts back to the track*
  • Mike Massaro (MRN Radio): The traffic's continuing to stack up! Eddy McRich steps out of line and he'll attempt to make it 3-wide heading back to Turn #3! He'll squeeze underneath Francis Bull-E! Bull-E steps out of line and gives way to McRich who takes over the spot in Turn #4!
  • Joe Moore (MRN Radio): The front 10 cars are single-file from 11th on-back, that is where the serious battling is going on! Cindy Vortex, Sheen Estevez, and now behind them side-by-side are the cars of Trixie Tang and Eddy McRich going to Turn #1!
  • Dave Moody (MRN Radio): Trixie Tang still can't find room to get into the bottom of the racetrack as Eddy McRich moves underneath her! Sandy Cheeks takes it down onto the apron, trying to make a move on Bubbles Turner! She can't make it in Turn #2!
  • Mike Massaro (MRN Radio): Bubbles Turner now slips to the inside of the racetrack as they hit down the backstraightaway! She'll try to bypass Mojo Jojo! Mojo Jojo now gets out of the primary groove, and Bubbles Turner makes the pass in Turn #3!
  • Barney Hall (MRN Radio): Right now, everybody back there is just kinda scrambling to get in single-file, they don't-- (in unison, Francis screams as he spins out of control, and Finbarr Calamitous screams as he skids sideways into pit-road* *with sudden realization* WHOA! Trouble off Turn #4 as Francis Bull-E gets clipped, spins around, he's gonna smack the outside wall, and he will get away and not make any contact with anybody else. *scene cuts to the ESPN Broadcast Booth*
  • Eli Gold (TNN): The 1st Servicemaster Clean caution flag is out in the Jiffy Lube 300 *scene cuts back to the track* after Francis Bull-E and Finbarr Calamitous wrecked coming off the 4th corner.
  • Buddy Baker (TNN): Francis Bull-E's luckily to continue the race, but the crash he had will put him several laps down as he goes behind the wall and into the garage area.

Quote 6 Edit

Quote 7 Edit

  • (Lap 17 out of 300 laps)
  • Barney Hall (MRN Radio): Green flag goes back in the air, and they take off for Turn #1. Rudy Tabootie takes em' down there, and they stay single-file this time as they hit the corner.
  • Dave Moody (MRN Radio): And another good jump by Rudy Tabootie! He'll lead by 2 car-lengths on the bottom of Turn #1! B-Cup's riding in 2nd, Lisa Simpson in 3rd, Bloo Kazoo (4th), and Eddward Marion (5th) to the backstraightaway!
  • Mike Massaro (MRN Radio): And the challenge is now on for 3rd! Bloo Kazoo looks to the inside of Lisa Simpson! Simpson slides down the banking to the inside of the racetrack! She'll hold him off, but now here comes Eddward Marion! He'll slip up underneath Bloo Kazoo and take over the 4th spot as they work off Turn #4!

Quote 8 Edit

Quote 9 Edit

Quote 10 Edit

Quote 11 Edit

Quote 12 Edit

Quote 13 Edit

Quote 14 Edit

Quote 15 Edit

Quote 16 Edit

Quote 17 Edit

Quote 18 Edit

Quote 19 Edit

Quote 20 Edit

Quote 21 Edit

Quote 22 Edit

Quote 23 Edit

  • (Lap 298 out of 300 laps)
  • (scene cuts to the TNN Broadcast Booth)
  • Eli Gold (TNN): We have just received the 1-to-go signal from the chief starter here in New Hampshire International Speedway in Loudon, New Hampshire *scene cuts to the track* and we are gonna go green next time by with only 2 laps go! Ed Monobrow will be the race leader after an awesome pit-stop, with Eddy McRich in 2nd, and Kevin Shovelchin in 3rd!
  • Buddy Baker (TNN): Rolf Shepherd was the race leader at the time they all came to pit-road for their final stops of the day, but Remy Buxaplenty, who came out 2nd at that time, cut him off just enough for him to stop short, and at the same time get clipped accidentally by Stanley S.Squarepants, costin' the 77 JASPER Ford a shot at the victory.
  • Eli Gold (TNN): And also Remy Buxaplenty will have to restart at the rear of the field as a result of a black flag for HIM being too fast off of pit-road.
  • Dick Berggren (TNN): That has gotta be tough luck for the #4 Kodak Chevrolet team of Team REXCOR, Eli. *scene cuts to Rolf's cockpit*
  • (In Turns 1 & 2, backstretch, backstraightaway, and in Turns 3 & 4, getting ready for the final restart)
  • Rolf (in 19th): You should not have destroyed Rolf's chances of winning a lobster dinner and a berth of playoffs, you no-good Remy-Boy! *scene cuts to Remy's cockpit*
  • Remy (in 36th / snobbishly): Oh, ho ho! You should thank me really. What if the lobster woke up to feast on YOU instead?!(in reference to the "Ed, Edd n Eddy" episode, "Scrambled Ed"), and then you'd be in no condition to drive! *scene cuts to Rolf's cockpit*
  • Rolf (in 19th / vengefully): Oh, ho ho! Is that so, Remy-boy?! You think you can disrespect the son of a shepherd with your words of what should I say, evil?! *scene cuts to Kevin's cockpit*
  • Kevin (in 3rd / severely to Rolf): Rolf, you need to CHILL OUT, man. Remy's just trying to use past trauma and low words to anger you and our teammate Ed is the race leader. All he has to do is hold off Dorky for 2 more laps after the final restart. *scene cuts to Eddy's cockpit*
  • Eddy (in 2nd): Aw, cry me a fu--*bleep*--ing river, bazooka-chin! Ed'll throw the race for ME! Ain't that right, Ed? *snobbish laugh*
  • Ed (in 1st / stupidly): What?
  • [scene cuts to Kevin's cockpit]
  • Kevin (in 3rd): Uh, news flash Dorky! First, Ed ain't on Team REXCOR like you, and 2nd, aren't you forgetting Ed knows the REAL you and your evil, manipulative, stupid, ridiculous, and untrustworthy side?! (referring to "Thomas and the Magic Railroad (Fantasy Crossover Edition)") Plus, I actually LIKE Ed because he's funny and not an evil dork like you! *scene cuts to Eddy's cockpit*
  • Eddy (in 2nd): Oh, is that so?! Why don't you ask him in person?! *scene cuts to Ed's cockpit*
  • Ed (in 1st): Like autographs, Eddy?! *scene cuts to Eddy's cockpit*
  • Eddy (in 2nd / stupidly): See?! He's still on my side EITHER WAY! HAH! *scene cuts to Kevin's cockpit*
  • Kevin (in 3rd): Oh, yeah?! Wait'll we get to green and he'll SHOW you he knows the real you! *scene cuts to Eddy cockpit*
  • Eddy (in 2nd): HAH! I still doubt it! He's so stupid, he probably forgot he even turned on me! (referring to "Thomas and the Magic Railroad (Fantasy Crossover Edition)") [in his mind; angrily] Just like the time he forgot where he hid my magazines! (referring to the EENE episode, "Luck of the Ed") *scene cuts to Ed's cockpit*
  • Kevin (in 3rd / voice only): Don't worry about Dorky, Bud. Don't let him get in your head. You got this in the bag, Ed. You had a good racecar all day long, and you are the one to beat Dorky and get yourself in the playoffs as a member of Team Fastex. *as the pace car pulls into the pits* Pace-car's comin' off, bud. Show Dorky what you're made of and win this race man!
  • Ed (in 1st): Okey dokey, Smokey! *chuckles* That rhymed! *scene cuts to the track*
  • Eli Gold (TNN): The green flag waves once more in the Jiffy Lube 300! Ed Monobrow floors it and gets a good restart, but Eddy McRich just won't let him get away!
  • Buddy Baker (TNN): Yikes! Eddy's on a mission to stop Ed from addin' another Team Fastex member into the "Chase For The Cup'!
  • Dick Berggren (TNN Sports) But Ed's not letting him! *scene cuts to Ed's hauler with Sarah watching the race on TV, cheering Ed on*
  • Sarah (cheering Ed on / with the sound of the cars racing by in the background): C'mon, idiot brother! Grab this win and keep Eddy the evil REXCOR horsehead behind ya! *scene cuts to Ed's cockpit*
  • (in Turns 3 & 4)
  • Kevin (in 3rd ./ voice only): C'mon, Ed! You're doin' great man! Keep holdin' em' off! *scene cuts to Eddy's cockpit*
  • Eddy (in 2nd): Hey, Ed! Scoot over and let your ol' pal Eddy take the lead and win for ya! *scene cuts to the TNN Broadcast Booth*
  • Eli Gold (TNN / in unison to the crowd hysterically cheering Ed on): The white flag is in the air for Ed Monobrow! *scene cuts to the track* He's trying his hardest to keep Eddy McRich at bay!
  • Buddy Baker (TNN / in unison to the crowd hysterically cheering Ed on): Man, Ed is racin' for his life, Eli! *scene cuts to Ed's cockpit*
  • (frontstretch, Turns 1 & 2, backstretch, and backstraightaway)
  • Eddy (in 2nd / voice only): Hello?! Are you even listening to me, Lumpy?!
  • Ed (in 1st): Sorry, Eddy! I, Ed must conquer victory and achieve greatness for Team Fastex! And I, Ed know the real you like a bad itch! *scene cuts to Ed's cockpit*
  • Eddy (in 2nd): YOU KIDDIN' ME, MONOBROW?! I'm your buddy!!!! You're supposed to let ME win!!!! *scene cuts to Ed's cockpit*
  • Ed (in 1st): Sorry, Eddy! The number you are dialing is not in service! *scene cuts to Eddy's cockpit*
  • Eddy (in 2nd): Gimme that lead, Toast-for-brains! *scene cuts to Ed's cockpit*
  • Ed (in 1st / angrily): VICTORY GOOD FOR ED! NOT FOR SKIPPER!
  • Eddy (in 2nd): BRING IT ON, Horace-horse! *scene cuts to the track*
  • Eli Gold (TNN): They dive into Turn #3 for the final time this afternoon! Eddy might have him here, but he will somehow drift up the racetrack, but Ed will get the better run in the center of the corners! It's gonna be close!
  • Buddy Baker (TNN): EE-YEOW! That was Eddy's BIG mistake there as he can't get the momentum in the corner!
  • Dick Berggren (TNN): THAT cost him (referring to Eddy) BIG TIME, guys!
  • Eli Gold (TNN / in unison to the crowd hysterically cheering for Ed as he crosses the start/finish line and wins the race): They come off the final corner, and Ed Monobrow will manage to hold off a hard-charging Eddy McRich, (in unison, Ed cries out, "TOOT-A-LOO, SKIPPER!") and Ed Monobrow will win the Jiffy Lube 300 here in New Hampshire International Speedway! (in unison, Ed cries out as he pumps his fist in the air out the window net, "YEAH!!!! I ED HAVE ACHIEVED GREATNESS!!!!") A BIG win for the team (referring to Team Fastex) and a first career win for the dimwitted Fastex driver! (in unison, Eddy angrily cries out in angry gibberish, "ED, YOU DOUBLECROSSER! *angry gibberish*") Ed Monobrow has become the 10th Team Fastex member to punch his ticket into the playoffs!
  • Buddy Baker (TNN): Man, he pulled it off, Eli! Eddy McRich tried everythin' to shake him, but Monobrow kept on swayin' and blockin' him to get the victory here in New Hamphire!
  • Dick Berggren (TNN): That kid is INCREDIBLE! For a person with a low-IQ, he sure knows how to pull of a victory in NASCAR, especially in The Magic Mile!

Quote 24 Edit

Quote 25 Edit

Quote 26 Edit

Quote 27 Edit

Trivia Edit

  • Since this is the 2000 season, the commentators on TV (TNN) will be Eli Gold, Buddy Baker (1942-2015), and Dick Berggren.
  • The MRN Radio commentators for this wiki-race will be Joe Moore & Barney Hall (in the booth), Dave Moody (Turns 1 & 2), and Mike Massaro (backstretch, backstraightaway, & Turn #3)
  • The TV pit reporters (TNN) will be Glen Jarrett, Marty Snider, Matt Yocum, Ralph Sheheen, and Matt Yocum.
  • The radio pit reporters (MRN Radio) will be Winston Kelley, Steve "The Postman" Post, Alex Hayden, Jason Toy, Jim Phillips, Krista Voda, Kyle Rickey, and Adam Alexander.

New Hampshire International Speedway (now New Hampshire Motor Speedway) Edit